Three More Non-Puerh Related Things from Yunnan Spring

Puerh Bloggin Return

I am adding h’s to my puerh for this post because I am an SEO sell out who wants to show up on searches for “puerh” in google at least once. But if this post is any indication of puerh edification I can potentially provide to new readers, they are screwed. Furthermore, I don’t even know if that is how SEO works. What I do know, is that if you google “Puerh Blog Bathroom Tile Young Vixens”, this will be the first result.

Here is more non-tea related non-sense from my Spring in Yunnan. I swear I will get back to puerh blogging after I catch my breath. In the meantime, take a look at the top three interest bits from the back end of my trip. I saved the pictures of a water buffalo being butchered (an honorable mention coming in fourth place) in favor of the following.

1. Bathroom with Tiles of Young Vixens

Sensual tile

Front view of the hotel bathroom, complete with sensual tile

Toilet view puerh town

Toilet view

Toilet tank sticker model

Toilet tank sticker model

For those of you keeping track, that is not one, but two attractive young women who will be staring at you while you drop some kids off at the pool. What makes this aesthetic decision of placing this tile all the more enjoyable is how intentional it is. Somebody sat down one day and thought, “You know what would be a great idea? A picture of a scantily clad vixen in a nighty right above the squat toilets in my new hotel. I love having beautiful women watch me take a dump, and I assume the guests in my hotel will as well.” Which is great logic, if you want to telegraph your taboo fetish to the world. And for the record, I am not judging people with such fetishes. I don’t want anybody checking my browser history anymore than the next guy; my only point is that this tile may not have been the classiest choice for a hotel bathroom.

2. Raw Sour Olive Moonshine

Moonshine tea

Moonshine steeped with sour fruit

Drinking moonshine is a mandatory task on trips to meet with tea farmers. Some brew their own booze, others buy high octane swill from the local distillery. This bottle was one of my favorites from the entire trip. This tea farmer from lower Hekai village bought the  50%-60% corn alcohol from a local still and then steeped it with these raw olive like fruit. If you eat the fruit fresh it is incredibly sour, but after the sour wave passes there is a wake of sweetness in the mouth. Couple that sour/sweet combo with the burning/warm of the liquor and you have yourself an interesting shot. The pork in the background of the picture was also delicious. Props to the pork fat for preventing my stomach from being scorched to death by the liquor.

3. Myanmar Medicine Lady

Myanmar Medicine Woman

Yamaha, I am waiting for payment for product placement

Nothing like a woman with a bindle full of heavy prescription strength medicine from Burma to soothe what ails you. Want to treat that malaria? No need to drive to that pesky hospital 5 hours away on mountain roads, just pick up some Mefloquin some this lady. Discontinue use if you start seeing pink elephants.

Her presence adds convenience to villagers who are a long journey from the nearest health clinic, but you have to wonder about the safety of these drugs, when even mainstream pharmaceuticals in major Chinese cities have had a questionable quality control track record. The elder women smoking and chatting with her did not share my concerns.

Woman smoking a pipe tea blog

Woman smoking a pipe at the pharmacy

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  • Nick H

    I also remember seeing #1 back in 2006, except they were fully nude. And again, on tile!

    I remember meeting a very dark looking guy with mysterious eyes, also selling something in the corner of a market, who looked so different from anyone I had seen in China..I asked him where he was from.and he said, “Myanmar.”

    • TwoDog2

      Fully nude? Excellent. Nothing makes a hotel classier than fully nude tiles on the bathroom walls.

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